We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I will be naked everywhere
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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