jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
