I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
