Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
