u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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