Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
