She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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