rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
