Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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