He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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