Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
