So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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