I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize