youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
