I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
