Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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