Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize