No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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