Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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