I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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