Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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