so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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