in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
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Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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