id be glad to
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
