And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think my moral compass just broke
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