I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
