you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
