You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
