you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
