I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
