weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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