Nicole vs. Life
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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