Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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