afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Someone shattered a urinal.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
