i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
