guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize