Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
