I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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