Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
