You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
being pregnant is like rehab
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
