I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
