Pregnant stripper...not hot.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
