Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
