You're so nebulous sometimes
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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