making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
