Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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