We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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