you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
