It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize