We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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