i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize