This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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