id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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