Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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