We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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