Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
