I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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