he wants to bone in the snuggie
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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