So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
