so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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