this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
