Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
