GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
