Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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