Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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