Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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